I have found that Instant Messaging is a great way to communicate on the net – as the name suggests, you get instant feedback. But why do some people not treat it like having a face to face conversation? Why can’t you take turns at talking? When you ask a question why doesn’t the other person wait and then answer your question? I have found that people seem to get so caught up in what they want to say it appears they are not a bit interested in what you are saying. Questions don’t get answered, subjects are changed without the other person realising it. In a face to face conversation you surely would take turns to talk and if you asked a question it would be answered immediately. Don’t tell me “we don’t have time to take turns because we are all so busy doing other things at the same time”. I don’t go along with this at all.
I do like Instant Messaging but surely it could be made more user friendly by people treating it more like a face to face conversation.
Interesting. I think that when I talk to people who don’t use it so much I tend to be a bit more patient taking turns, but when I talk to people who are very used to it (and who I am very familiar with their IM style), the conversation tends to be a lot more chaotic. In fact it’s quite common to be talking about two things at once in alternating responses. Sometimes it can be a little confusing, but it gets to be like second nature, and it’s actual quite enjoyable. If you don’t get a question answered, it’s quite possibly been missed – you can just repeat it (I would). I think this difference in style is probably just a difference in familiarity.
I’d agree with Raewyn, when you have been using IM for a while you tend to find it easy to talk about 2 or 3 topics at once, where you might only talk about one at a time in person.
How you use IM programmes does depend on who you are talking to, i changed my style quite a bit when i started using MSN for work. Previously i had used so much shorthand that every 2nd word was pretty much in shorthand, and other people found that a bit difficult to understand.
Whereas some of my friends will use lots of short hand all the time.
I wouldn’t use lol, brb, e.t.c with people who i didn’t think knew what those terms meant, but with friends i message with all the time, they know that lol means laughing out loud, and brb means be right back.
Using IM is like speaking another language, and it has its own culture, its not rude to speak on several topics at once.
But people do need to be careful that who they are talking to is keeping up, as Raewyn says sometimes it can get a bit confusing, especially as statements could relate to more than one thing.
Generally though, I don’t have any trouble keeping up a conversation on several topics, and can even be instant messaging with several people, on several topics at once.
I would reccomend that people adjust their style depending on who they are talking to, when messaging with my parents my IM style is different than when messaging with my friends.
And even with my friends, i am quite happy to repeat my question several times until they answer it, or at least acknowledge it. 🙂
I think people adapt and adjust their communication style depending on who they are talking to and how well they know the person. This is so on the phone. Its certainly so when writing. I’m sure its also valid in Instant messaging.
I know I have a slightly different style when talking to people not comfortable with the IM culture than I have when talking to people skilled in its use. I think the important thing with IM use is to be able to sense the comfort level of the other person and adapt to keep them comfortable.
How you approach IM is also a function of how well you know the other person. As with face to face conversation, two people who know each other really well would introduce their own little conversational abbreviations and nuances – their own little secret language.
With use and experience it is easy to slip into a parallel subject mode. And sometimes it becomes necessary as neither party is aware of whether the present topic is exhausted until a reply is made and in the meantime they may have started another topic. So its quite easy to inadvertently have two simultaneous topics.
Its interesting that IM is increasing being used in business situations where accurate communications is desirable. A strong feature of IM is the ablity to have the chat windows continuously open so that it becomes extremely easy to drop a comment or question to the other person without any pressure for an immediate answer.
You people are all such clever multi-taskers. I have changed my view slightly about IM after talking to Novey for about half an hour without a break in conversation. As I said to her, I felt I was bashing the hell out of the keyboard just to keep up with her. I realise now that if you dont want any pauses in conversation you really just have to keep typing furiously and quickly answer questions before the conversation changes to a different topic.
Vern, I’m a bit worried about this secret language you are talking about. I didn’t know you had any nuances. Are they painful?
Raewyn, you are very patient when you are using IM with me. But you obviously know that I am an IM rookie. I notice dad, though just constantly types.
When talking to Novey I was quite surprised at how I adapted quite well to the constant change in subject. But I did have to keep looking back in case I missed a question or comment. IM certainly keeps you on your toes, especially when you are talking to a fast typist. I do consider myself a fast typist but I have to be extra fast when using this medium. I think a non-typist would not be able to cope with this medium at all. I’m so pleased that I gained all my shorthand, typing qualifications when I was young. Of course I didnt realise 45 years ago that they would be so useful today.
I would like a lot more practice in holding a continuous conversation in this medium. I think I could become quite addicted to it.
You are lucky you can type fast – slow typist novice IMers have much more trouble keeping up with things. In fact it can be quite frustrating talking to someone who can’t type fast, it’s like drawing blood from a stone 😉